(photo: milkypervert)

You can choose which feelings (positive, negative, or none) you want to associate with any particular event.

Failing once or twice does not make you a failure. You are not your mistakes. The past DOES and DOES NOT equal the future. It is all a matter of how you see it and how you link it neurologically that really matters most. Let’s dig a little deeper into NRG . . .

The past does not necessarily equal the future. If you shoot a basketball towards the hoop and miss, does this mean you will miss the next shot? No, the past failure does not mean you will miss the future shot. So the past does not equal the future. However, let’s consider the other side of the coin:

The past does equal the future. If you have never played basketball and you wanted to learn to score a three pointer, do you think each of your previous shots would help you to adjust and learn so you could eventually improve your shot? Yes, it will help you to improve your ability to sink a basket. So, in that case – the past certainly does equal the future. It means that your previous training will assist your future endeavors. Think again about our stepping stones to our goal.

The point I am trying to make is that the way we see things or link them internally is what makes the difference. If you see it as a failure and experience pain because of it, then it will be a failure to you and very likely create an emotional link which will hinder your future performance. If you see it as a learning experience and link pleasure to the experience then it will improve your future performance. This ability is what separates winners from losers. Winners are those that, regardless of what is showing on the scoreboard, know that they have learned something from the game and it is therefore a positive “winning” experience for them. They smile and are ready to play again the next day.

So what we want to do with NRG is to have our emotions see all our required actions as good or positive experiences. This way we want to (internally) continue to grow and gain experience without having to think about it. But you have to make the positive choice to do so.

So how do we keep from associating these negative feelings to the positive actions required for success? We simply do our best to avoid associating a negative feeling to any experience. For example, if you fail after taking a specific action you will usually have a reaction that is very often an emotional one. You failed a chemistry exam so you want to drop the course and never face another formula again. But instead, make the choice to immediately change your thoughts so that you do not train yourself for failure, that you do not link any negative emotion to the event. For example laughing when you want to curse and throw things. Or tell yourself that you need to study harder for the next exam and learn from your errors. Failing the exam was a positive experience because now you will know the material even better! You take a deep breath and smile, sending signals to your body and brain that the experience was positive.

Are you the victim, or the victor? It’s your choice.

Let’s say that after a negative event or supposed failure, you were to scream, “YES!” Then you made a fist and shook it like you had just hit the million dollar jackpot in Las Vegas. This type of action will send different signals to your brain. The result is that you will not link any limiting feelings to actions that are required to deal with your fears and achieving success. Instead, you will link joy and excitement. You will create what I call a Neuro-Reason for Growth.

We consistently create little negative Neuro-Reasons not to do things. What we want to do is start doing the opposite by creating positive Neuro-Reasons for Growth. After every failure you have the option of making a decision or a choice. You can choose one of two options:

  1. Neuro Reason For Failure – the victim
  2. Neuro Reason For Growth – the victor

Most of us will react after a failure and link that internally as a negative experience. Then we complain externally to get victim sympathy. This will discourage your future desire to make another attempt, and it will create doubt and future excuses. Because these excuses are usually accepted and supported by our environment, we don’t have to worry about looking like a failure to our family and friends. However, if you chose to respond to the experience in a positive way, it would have an opposite effect and thus encourage you to continue to take action and have the energy to do so.

If you get into a bad situation and react as if you’re having a knife thrust into the heart, then you will have a harder time continuing to grow. Your brain remembers every experience and records this information and works to help you to succeed by listening to the emotions you attach to each experience. If you stick a screwdriver into a wall socket and you get an electric jolt – that is likely to be a very painful emotion and your brain will do its best to help you to avoid doing that in the future.

However, there are some things in life that are painful, but necessary for our success. For example, here are a few things people might associate pain to (due to a negative past experience) and thus drag their feet or completely avoid taking actions on altogether:

  • Approaching the opposite sex
  • Speaking to a large group of people
  • Studying for an exam
  • Getting up early
  • Starting a business
  • Exercising on a regular basis
  • Eating a healthy diet
  • Learning a new sport
  • Loaning money or investing in a new idea
  • Doing the dishes or cleaning the house

In fact, the most painful experience a woman can have is childbirth, yet most women who have one child repeat the experience. They associate the experience with their beautiful child and not the actual pain. If they weren’t able to do that, mankind would have died out long ago!

If you are to gain control, you need to choose the feeling you attach to any experience. Every experience has three choices you can make as seen below:

  1. Negative
  2. Neutral
  3. Positive

If you link a negative emotion to any experience, your brain is going to remember to do its best to avoid that experience in the future and this will limit your performance.

If, however, you associate no feeling to a negative experience, your brain will not hinder your ability to do what you need to be doing. It also may not help you have the NRG you need.

The best part is that if you associate a positive feeling or emotion, then your brain will actually do its best to help you to achieve that goal and give you the required NRG to succeed.

So in order to have energy for doing something consistently, you will need to have strong Neuro-Reasons, good internal associations that will push you in the direction you want to go.

I will go into more depth on doing this later, as well as teach you the Stop, Drop, and Roll strategy (chapter 18) that will work to solve most of these issues. First, let us review a few core ingredients that I believe are the foundation for truly gaining control of your emotions and in-

turn, supporting your overall level of energy.

Winjitsu Work Out

Think of a recent experience that you might consider a negative one (a break up, a lost sports event, failed test). Think about the emotion that you attached to that event. Was it positive? Negative? How might you have handled it differently to boost your NRG and willingness to tackle the event again?

About the Author RICK TEW

I will do the splits for you too. I provide edutainment events that help you to be a Ninja in what you do. I offer Martial Arts Therapy Retreats on Samui Island in Thailand. My unique Winjitsu Mind-Body system of coaching inspires you to BE more fulfilled and to DO more to KickStart your ideas.

follow me on:

Leave a Comment:

Scroll Up