(photo: rosiehardy)

We are hammering home the message: Think positively about your experiences, no matter the perceived outcome. Learn to associate positive feelings with your experiences and the next time you encounter the same experience, you will be able to do so with confidence and courage.

Let’s take a moment to review the four key feelings we need for dealing with our fears and striving for success, they are: Confidence, Courage, Comfort and Calm.

The first two are almost always required when dealing with your fears.
Confidence (more foundational) is by far the most important area to work on to help us maintain a chosen course of action. Courage (can be created in the now) is very important if you are to have the ability to act.

This is especially true in a situation that seems threatening or dangerous. Comfort is helpful when you are uncomfortable with crowds, new people, or speaking to groups. Staying Calm is required if you are dealing with a situation where chaos could be fatal. Disaster can strike in many places, and I am not just talking about how to deal with a fire in the building. The idea of a fire can take place in many areas of our life. If you lose control in the office, you could lose your job. If you lose control in your marriage, you could lose your significant other.

Have you ever felt the feelings of confidence, courage, calm, or comfort, in the past? More than likely yes; maybe not lately, but at some point in your life there must have been a time when you felt courageous or confident. So you know it’s possible, right? Now all you need to do is tap into those same feelings.

Dale Carnegie said, “You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.”

I see confidence and comfort as internally developed feelings that we have built over a long period of time. For example, you probably have the confidence to stand up and walk from one end of the room to the other. This did not happen overnight. It took many years of walking and running until you developed the absolute, undeniable confidence to walk or run without the fear of falling.

You also might be very comfortable speaking with your significant other but do you recall the time when you first met and how you may have been uncomfortable speaking with them? As you get to know someone and as you develop a relationship, you eventually feel comfortable enough to speak your mind or share your feelings. You no longer fear ridicule or rejection and your comfort level has heightened significantly.

The key is being able to transfer the internal feelings of comfort or confidence from one area of our lives into another and instantly create a sense of courage or calm. This is not as difficult as you may think.

The real issue is how we perceive something. There’s a saying in the hospitality business that “perception is reality.” In other words, if a customer believes something is wrong, it is wrong. Their perception is their reality and that’s what we must deal with. Not what we think is real.

Remember, confidence, courage, calm and comfort are just feelings and if you treat the task you are afraid of with a positive feeling, you will have no problem taking on the challenge. This is especially true once you establish a track record of positive experiences; one builds upon another.

Do not worry about trying to grasp the whole concept of feelings and perception right now. I will go into the science behind NRG piece by piece throughout this book and by the time you reach the last lesson, you should have a good understanding of how this all works.

Each lesson is a small part of the same whole, but because this is something that is often very challenging to grasp – I am hitting it from all angles to ensure that at some point, it will all sink in. We are aiming for a true “light bulb” moment!

Winjitsu Work Out

Take a moment now to remember a time when you felt confident, courageous, comfortable or calm and write it down:

I was Confident when:

I was Courageous when I:

I am Comfortable with:

I am usually Calm when faced with:

Now that you have a few important mind set examples you can adopt when dealing with your fears, let’s learn more about them and how we can put this C4 list to maximum use.

About the Author RICK TEW

I will do the splits for you too. I provide edutainment events that help you to be a Ninja in what you do. I offer Martial Arts Therapy Retreats on Samui Island in Thailand. My unique Winjitsu Mind-Body system of coaching inspires you to BE more fulfilled and to DO more to KickStart your ideas.

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