Don’t put too many of your assets on one side of the balance beam, or you may go into emotional chaotic bankruptcy.
The purpose of this book is to give you the tools necessary to aid you in facing your fears and gaining freedom from self-limiting beliefs.
This information will also assist you in developing a more balanced life. Balance is important when dealing with fear as it is this balance that helps us with our desired outcome. Imagine walking from one rim of the Grand Canyon to the other via a beam which is only two feet wide.
That same beam, if placed on your living room floor, would seem very wide and present no challenge at all.
A sturdy beam and confidence in your ability to balance is going to help you with making the decision to cross or not. In any case, you might still fear falling, but you will be far more at ease knowing that the chance of success is far greater due to the fact that you are well prepared.
Balance is more than not falling
The difficulty with maintaining our survival in this world is that we often take our actions to the extreme (be it love, work, or adventure). We become workaholics, or fall into various addictive behavior patterns. By doing so, we limit our options in other areas, throwing us off balance and into chaos. Just as we find it difficult to stay calm in an emergency when there is a lot of confusion, it is hard for us to properly deal with the current unbalanced lifestyle. Balance applies to all aspects of our lives and represents a huge challenge. My goal is not to limit your ability to take the challenge or to go the extra mile. Instead, it is to increase your sense for adventure and at the same time keep a healthy respect on both ends of the beam to achieve combined and balanced excellence. You can have a full, successful career, an exciting love life, a healthy physical lifestyle, and lots of travel and adventure. It just takes figuring it all out from a holistic point of view so that every aspect receives its proper attention. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it can be done.
I have been on both sides of the lifestyle beam and have dealt with the trials and tribulations of each. One minute you are focused on making money and a place to wear a tie (security) and the next you want to buy tickets to New Zealand to see why they call Queenstown the adventure capital of the world (surprise). I have also found that running from one end of the beam to the other to keep a balance really only keeps us in a constant state of chaos, increasing the odds of a catastrophic fall. This chaos occurs when we are continuously struggling with last minute survival tactics. Sure, there are good times and bad times, but they are enveloped in a constant stressful environment.
With balance we can enjoy the best of both worlds and still maintain a happy thriving lifestyle.
I speak from extensive experience in the area of balance and facing fear while maintaining freedom. My experience is derived through my adventures of being out of balance.
Knowledge is gained from experience, and experience is a product of making mistakes.
I have sat on the throne of a good life as well as suffered the toasting of “the hot seat.” After constant struggle and many successes, I have come to realize that balance in not only very challenging but important in maintaining our needs. Many of you will find this key to be useful in unlocking some of your own doors to personal achievement. Let’s take a look at the image I call the life balance beam.
The horizontal bar represents life and balance. The smiley face represents your needs that are important in maintaining happiness and the emotion of feeling good. Here are a few examples of some basic needs:
Giving – the need to contribute
Growth – the need to feel we are improving
Love – the need to feel loved and wanted
Importance – the need to feel needed and appreciated
The “S” on the left stands for the value of Security
Security is knowing that you have the necessities of life: food, shelter, and clothing. It is also knowing and feeling that you are working for yourself and providing for your future. You feel a sense of stability and your actions give you a feeling of investment. Security is being able to rely on certain things in your life, to know that tomorrow will offer some consistency.
The “S” on the right stands for the value of Surprise
Surprise is not knowing what tomorrow will bring. It isn’t blindness or taking the plunge; it is more about new territory and variety. Surprise allows for so many factors that you need in your life. Do you want to eat the same thing day after day? Do you want to wear the same shirt week after week? Do you want to do the same task month after month? What you want is to have variety year after year. Combine security with surprise and you have the ingredients for a successful and happy lifestyle.
The triangle represents our Mind, Body, and Spirit tripod and the question mark inside this triangle stands for the goals and aspirations that support our needs.
When we focus too much on Security, such as putting all our attention and energy into our career and very little into our passions, we tip the scale of our life beam and bring our life out of balance as seen in the next image.
When you focus on any one value, you might bring others out of balance. Your emotions begin to demonstrate that you are not happy. So you try to figure out why. You start to think that maybe it is because you don’t have enough surprise in your life. And you may be right. A job offers you income, but you start to miss the days of hanging out with friends, traveling at a moment’s notice, and simply not having to wear a suit. We might do the same thing in a relationship. You might have a secure relationship, but begin to miss the freedom and variety that comes with being single.
So, we jump the fence and focus purely on surprise or values such as freedom. At first, we are focused on the adventure that each day offers, and we brag to our friends about our new lifestyle. But eventually it creates chaos, and we get tired of not having money and/or not having the support of a significant other. We begin to experience pain. The grass we jumped to the other side in search of, suddenly doesn’t look so green. So, we jump back over to our boyfriend or girlfriend, or we try to get our job back, resulting in a constant out-of-balance teeter totter effect.
This is the process of life and usually the result of early adulthood. We go back and forth until we learn from our experience and find a way to maintain balance. But many of us never seem to find this balance. I can understand why; it is hard to find something you don’t know you need. Hopefully now you do.
The key is to find and keep a balance between the values of security and the values of surprise. When you find the right balance you will feel in control. When you feel in control, this will allow you to build your self-confidence using the strategies contained in this book.
Winjitsu Work Out
Draw your own triangle and inside the triangle, write “Career.” Draw the balance beam that illustrates where you think your current balance (or imbalance) lies. Is it tilted toward Security? Or tilted toward Surprise? How can you get your balance beam on an even keel.
Do the same for: Social life, Relationships, Health, etc.